You love everything about your 3G iPhone don’t you? You love the shiny non metal back, the superior browsing speed, the call clarity, the GPS that isn’t all that GPSish, the minimal packaging, the cord to plug the iPhone into a USB port, and the USB power adapter. One of these things is actually pure evil. Don’t touch it. All the safe stuff about the iPhone take one step forward. Not so fast USB power adapter.

What’s wrong with the USB power adapter? Well, besides the fact that it is made up of pure evil as mentioned above? Turns out, according to Apple, that under “certain conditions” the metal prongs can break off and remain in the power outlet. This happened to me and it wasn’t that big of a deal until I tried to use a fork to get them out. Anyway, according Apple this creates a potential shock hazard (or as we call it in the biz: involuntary electron flow incident) and they want them back. Apple claims it isn’t a big problem, that it has only been reported by a small number of users and hasn’t caused any injuries but they still want them back. Because sooner or later it would cause an injury or, even worse, a lawsuit.

Here’s the unfortunate part: Apple isn’t exchanging the part until October 10. Until then Apple advises you use your computer to charge your iPhone. But that still leaves the adapter laying around where someone could see it and plug it in. Then try to unplug it. Then break off the blades. Then try to remove the blades. Then get shocked. Then die. In your house. Leaving a terrible mess to clean deal with. A mess you don’t want.

So here’s what you do: blow up the transformer nearest your house. This will cut the electricity to your home. Remove the adapter gently. Place said adapter in a ziplock bag. tape the bag to a copy DVD of The Hottie and the Nottie. Put it in a box and cover with unsold cassette tapes of Garth Brooks in the Life of Chris Gaines. Seal the box and dig a three by three hole in the backyard. Bury the box. Put up radioactive warning signs over the bare spot in your yard. On October 10 break out the shovel and retrieve the USB adapter to bring it to your nearest Apple store for a free exchange.

More details on Apple’s Website