You’ve probably seen the bacon iPhone case on Gizmodo but that post is just full of love for the bacon case. Being full of love for bacon makes a lot of sense. Who doesn’t love bacon? It is simultaneously greasy, crunchy, warm and salty. You put on turkey and a really drab sandwich suddenly becomes something you’d actually over indulge in. The problem with Bacon case love?

That’s right: Dogs. That picture is of my sadly deceased bulldog. He died of old age a few years back but if he were alive today he’d be dead as soon he managed to get a hold of an iPhone in the bacon case. Why? Because like all dogs he loved bacon. The mere sight of bacon would make him go into a slobbering fit of bacon lust. And if he ever got a piece of bacon you would wonder why it wanted it so badly because the salty strip disappeared in time best measured by comparing it to the decay rates of the kind of short lived particle physicists encounter when playing with colliders. So seeing an iPhone in a bacon case would be the same as seeing bacon. And seeing unattended bacon laying on the coffee table equals a dead dog.

I know what you’re saying: dogs are smarter than I think. They go more by smell than sight and there’s no way that a dog would mistake the bacon case for actual bacon. Maybe your dog… Anyway, dogs in general are routinely fooled by Beggin strips which I can personally assure you bear only the most passing resemblance to bacon when eaten.

Oh, and for the real bacon fans out there it is time to take it up a notch and try out country ham. Saltier than bacon but with all the pork goodness country ham is like bacon squared. Oh, if you want your very own Phone bacon case (maybe you own a cat) get them here. Yeah the english is stilted but bacon is an international language.